Fifty Is Nifty

Hello everyone, I'm back.  I've been gone for a while and I can't really explain why.  But I'll try.  This year has been a pivotal year for me.  I have never been one to get hung up on age.  Ever.  And I'm not looking for any sympathy here.  At all.  But fifty sort of hit me.  To be real honest the hit was not all bad.  In fact a ton of it was good.  I will even stretch and say that the scales tip in my favor.  And of course this needs a bit of explanation.  So here goes.

We're all busy. That hardly even needs to be said.  For my family we definitely keep a bit of a crazy calendar and there are only three of us.  Ok, three pups, too, but they go with the flow.  I mean I don't
have five kids going in all different directions.  You know who you are my friend, and I truly admire you.  Gracie had school, church and workouts.  Scott volunteers at church, a homeless shelter and mentors.  I work full time, volunteer at church and spend time with friends and family as much as possible.  Sounds manageable, right?  Hang on. Well you mix that with a shoulder injury for Gracie, a spinal surgery for my dad and a serious surgery for my sister and I became a bit bonkers.

What made me grieve was Gracie's track season was over. She had ended the last year with such excitement for this season.  She had broken the former freshman discus record by 14 feet!  She worked out constantly, she attended several throwing camps.  She was ready not only for the athleticism, but the generous coaching and the camaraderie of her fellow teammates.  Her surgery was painful and the recovery, both physically and mentally, was long.

Then there was dad.  He had been having some leg issues.  Cramping, shakiness, not having balance.
And it took what felt like forever to find the solution.  His decline happened fairly rapidly and completely changed how he and mom live.  Coffee and lunch dates were difficult.  No more walks. They weren't attending church as much as they had previously.  They were living in the place of the horrible unknown.  Would he get better?  Could someone just please figure out what is ailing him?Believe me, there were several tests and doctors working on this.  The diagnosis of spinal stenosis was made and there was surgery.  I won't go into all of the details of the surgery and recovery.  That's not my story to tell.  Suffice it to say that through some truly heart wrenching moments I was blessed to witness the unwavering love that my parents have for each other.

Amy was visiting dad in the rehab wing of the hospital and started to feel ill.  Dad was the patient, but always a dad, suggested she go see a doctor.  After a few blips, and let me just say this family is about done with blips, Amy had a diagnosis.  Soon thereafter a full hysterectomy.  All is well after a long recovery and some serious complications.

Through all of my family's health issues, I prayed.  And I stayed---as often as I could.  There were visits on the weekends.  I tried to remain present for them as much as possible.  But I live here, in Madison, and they live there, in Appleton.  Not impossible, just difficult at times.  I wished I could do more.  I wished I lived closer.

And there was the trip to Glacier National Park that we had been planning for almost a year.  It was a bit hard to get excited for our travels when worries were on my mind.  I had many hours of drive time when I went to visit my family.  That's a lot of time to think and make lists.  On this particular drive I was somewhere between Rosendale and Neenah.  I started to make a list of things I was grateful for.  Not the things I was worried about.  And I kid you not, an amazing wash of calm came over me.  When I got to the hospital to visit dad,  I was still feeling great.  We visited.  Mom and Amy were there, too.  As I said goodbye to dad, he told me I should wait a minute.  He stood for the first time I had seen, on his own, since his surgery.  This was the first time in over a month that I had hugged my dad without having to bend over to hug him while he was sitting in a chair or lying in a bed.  Hallelujah!

We had the best trip out to Montana.  We love it there.  I need to go back.  Soon.  And before I knew it my birthday was upon me.  I opened my arms and embraced this new age.  I've got this.  Fifty is fine.  Fifty is nifty.  I feel strong.  I feel silly.  I feel smart.  I've learned a lot.  I have a lot of life to live.  I've made some decisions.  I'm going to try and love every minute of every day.  I'm cool with imperfection.  I'm going to continue to simplify.  Navy blue is my new favorite color.  I'm going to travel more.   I'm going to be quiet.  Sometimes.  I'm sleeping more.  I'm back to blogging and I'm going to make the word "nifty" popular again.  These are my wishes and goals.  Yep, fifty is nifty.

Getting Ready

So the other day it dawned on me.  Well, actually this started in September.  Gracie was about to celebrate her 16th birthday.  A few days after that she took her driving test and passed.  I suppose that's when it really hit me.  I still have so much I want to teach her.  I have so much I want to show her and experience with her.  But she'll only be under our roof for another two and a half years.   I don't have much time.

I decided to approach all of this with a cool and calm mind.  No freaking out.  There was the night that she had to go to a meeting for work.  Downtown.  In the dark.  I asked her where she might park when she goes downtown? She replied with, wherever there is a parking spot.  Sassy girl.  So then I said, just make sure that it is in a well lit area.  Please don't use your cell phone while you are walking from the car to your work.  Walk with confidence and don't talk to strangers.  Ok.  That was probably enough.  Whew.  Then she said, mom, I have a black belt in karate.  And I'll be careful.  Kisses and hugs and a text me when you get there.  I've never felt so relieved as when I heard that garage door go up upon her return.

I've found myself explaining things to her differently.  Like when we went through the drive thru ATM at the bank.  Be aware of your surroundings.  When you punch in your PIN try and hide the numbers you are punching in.  Count your money after you have rolled up your window.  And then we moved on to other basic instructions.  When you're filling your gas tank, stay near by.  Those automatic shut off things don't always work.  We were on our way to a craft store and I said, when I enter this traffic circle I stay in the left lane.  That puts you right where you need to be when you want to turn into the strip mall.

Other little tips started rolling out of me.  Like when we were doing laundry.  Line dry your bras, they'll last longer.  Save your coins they really add up.  Always listen more than you talk.  Make sure you ask others lots of questions.  Google it.  Make sure to not text and drive.  Don't speed. Too much. It's not worth it.  I may know this from personal experience.  Maybe your dad does, too.

And even more basic.  Eight hours of sleep.  Always.  If not more.  Fruits and veggies, of course.  Give money to charities, but more important, give time.  Please and thank you.  Always.  Thank you notes.  This might land you a job.  Thank you note.  Follow up.  Professional.

Make your bed.  I know that you told me smart people are messy.  That is a good thing.  Genius on. But keep peace with your roommate or partner, too.  Learn how to change a tire.  Your Papa made me do this.  Learn to take a few seconds to respond rather than react.  A well thought out response is so much better and braver than a knee jerk reaction that you can't take back.

I've saved the best for last.  You know the golden rule.  Treat others like you wish to be treated.  Wish on falling stars.  Have fun.  Laugh.  Oh my goodness, LAUGH.  And love.  With gusto.  Love your family, your friends, your neighbors.  Be kind in general.  Make people feel as though they are the most important thing in your life.  The amazing miracle is that you, too, will feel very important.  That is the foundation that life is built on.  And trust.  This is easy.  Until your trust is taken for granted.  And then the best thing you can do is trust a little.  Again and again. Day after day.

When you have pain, push through.  You will learn that it won't define you.  Coming out on the other side is what does.  And that, baby girl, is all I have for you right now.  Except for one more thing.  Pack your bags.  We're going traveling.  We have places to go and people to see before you leave my nest.

Sweet Home Alabama

This trip had been planned for a long time.  And I looked forward to it with anticipation and a little apprehension.  I looked forward to spending time with Scott and Gracie.  I looked forward to spending time with lovely people from Messiah Lutheran Church.  I was excited to see what challenges we would be offered and what help we could provide on this mission trip.  Those were my expectations.  I was a little nervous about the long drive and getting tired.  This concern was quickly erased.  Yes, the drive was long, but we had a well-directed and fearless leader at the front of our seven vans.

We ventured to Peducah, Kentucky our first night.  We were welcomed with open arms to a church there.  A small stop on the way, but one filled with hospitality.  We traveled with 43 people and were able to pack our vans in less than 30 minutes and trek further south.  And as we traveled we kept in touch with each other via walkie-talkies.  We would count off and make sure everyone was present we would point out sights that should be seen.  Like hay bales that were misidentified as buffalo.  Ponds that were hilariously identified as the Atlantic and Pacific Oceans.  Good times.  And all of this kept us together.  All seven vans.

Our destination was Wetumpka, AL.  That's pronounced two different ways.  Younger folk tend to say WAtumpka and older people say WEEtumpka.  Either way it was to be our home for a week.  We knew that our lodging would be at Mulder Church, but what we didn't know was how amazing our accommodations would turn out to be.  The facility is beautiful!  And even better, it is airconditioned.
We lacked nothing.  We slept comfortably---well as far as sleeping on floors goes.  We ate well and we were able to shower for five minutes four times during the week.

And what tied all of this together was the staff of Youth Works.  Four amazing people who energized and inspired all of us.  We happened to come to Wetumpka for the last week of their programming.  We were to close out the final week of Kids Club and do some home improvement projects for people in the community.  It was our intention to help this community as much as we could.  Yes, that was our intention.

We loved on the children at Kids Club.  They were eager to learn.  They loved to sing and dance.  And they loved to run and play.  This is a group of children that live in a trailer park.  Poverty has been the only life they have ever seen.  At noon every day these kids come to a trailer that the church has purchased and they are welcomed with open arms.  They are cheered for and celebrated.  They have a lunch provided for them.  They do crafts, read, write and exercise.  Sounds like school?  It's intended to feel that way.  It is a loving structure that feeds their bodies and their souls.  And at the end of the day all the staff and volunteers walk the children home.

We were blessed to be able to visit with residents of a nursing home.  The facility was amazing.  So bright, beautiful and clean.  Such kind faces greeted us as we walked through the building.  Some of us had a beach/summer party with residents and others spent time with people who have Alzheimer's disease or dementia.  It was proven over and over again that with age comes wisdom.  One of the residents prayed for one of our youth.  We played games and sang songs.  We met a lovely little girl named Savannah who's mom is a therapist.  She was dressed in scrubs and is ten years old.  I asked, did she work here? "Yes, ma'am.  Full time, Monday through Friday."  We chatted more and there were so many more yes ma'ams.  I complimented her on her fine manners and her reply was, "it's all about love and discipline.  It's yes ma'am and yes sir or it's push ups."  I then asked, do you have very strong arms?  And I received a mighty "yes ma'am!"

Our work projects ranged from scrubbing the outside of a mobile home and prepping it for painting to folding clothes at a thrift shop to landscape clean up.  Every bit of these projects bettered the community.  The thrift shop sales helped support a home for children who have incarcerated parents.  At that facility part of our group helped clean the grounds.  We cleaned and painted mobile homes throughout the community.

So back to what I had expected from this trip.  I had expected the home improvements, working with children and visiting with older people.  What I didn't expect was to leave Wetumpka with so much more.  I saw and experienced God's work every second.  The smiles and hugs that we received.  The stories that were told to us about individuals in the community.  The history that we experienced at the Rosa Parks Museum and the Civil Rights Museum was so enlightening.  The people of Wetumpka would give you the shirt off their back if you needed it.  They were so kind and appreciative.  Seeing that a fresh coat of paint could be just the thing to help you feel proud of your home.

I saw a church group see a need and make moves to improve it.  To set up a church community within a mobile home park so that children could have a safe and educational place to go.  I saw amazing smiles from children and parents when their kids got their new backpacks and school supplies.  I saw children come to a safe place to play, be loved and to be fed.  I experienced a place where older people are respected and loved and nurtured.  I saw our group from Messiah become a close community with the youth and leaders from Minnesota.  And I felt our lovely people from Messiah become my family.

As I was unpacking my suitcase I took out my tennis shoes.  I notice a couple of pebbles stuck in the tread of my shoe.  My first thought was I should take those out.  But those are pebbles from Wetumpka, AL.  Those pebbles remind me of the walk that I took into this amazing community.  They remind me of the beautiful people in Alabama.  The pebbles remind me of my Messiah family.  And they remind me of the amazing life that God has given me.  I feel so blessed to have been part of this week in Wetumpka.  My faith has been strengthened.  So as I put those shoes with the pebbles stuck in the tread in my closet, I know that some day I may lose the little rock reminders, but I know that my heart is forever full with my love for God, my Messiah people and a sweet community named Wetumpka, Alabama.

The Girls

This past weekend was a rehearsal of sorts.  We had the privilege of attending Abby's confirmation.  Abby is Gracie's best buddy from forever.  They met each other when they were two.  They attended preschool together.  They went to elementary school together.  Through fourth grade.  We lived about four houses away from each other until the house next to ours went up for sale.  Abby and her family moved in next door.  The dads cut a part of the fence that joined our back yards and made it into a door between our yards.

The girls took ballet together.  When they were three.  They were klutzy little ladies all dressed in pink.  They had adorable hair and chubby cheeks.  They had tea parties and picnics.  Sleepovers and craft projects.  They are sisters of sorts.  And with that came the occasional disagreement.  There were matching outfits.  Pictures with Santa every year.

We were moms in the driveway.  The women who birthed these adorable girls.  We lived on a street called Bedford Lane.  We affectionately became the "Bedford Wives."  Several other moms joined us and our children outside.  Spring, summer, fall, winter.  Just like the mailman; we were outdoors every day.  Fresh air and snacks equal healthy, happy kids.  And healthy happy kids make thankful and proud parents.

The dads gathered, too.  They accomplished big outdoor projects together.  There were barbeque's and campfires.  There were even a few tents pitched in the backyard.  The dads slept outside with the kids.  Moms were all comfy inside their houses.  Strong bonds were formed.  We have become the kind of friends that are so close that we really think of each other as family.

So back to the rehearsal.  It was Abby's Confirmation.  She was a gorgeous young woman.  So grown up and graceful.  It was a wonderful thing to be present for this big day.  We were and are so happy for her.  And for a moment I thought about the fact that Gracie would have been confirmed with her on this day.  But this was Abby's day.  And Gracie loved being there to share in it.  In a month it will be Gracie's day.  She'll be confirmed on May 17.  At our church in Madison.

These girls are growing up so fast.  They are driving now.  They still see each other often.  Maybe not often enough.  They are really smart, compassionate and funny young women that we have had the joy to see mature over time.  

I'll always remember the little pink ballerinas that kept falling down and giggling.  I think that was a rehearsal for bigger and better things to come.


P.S.  On a different note, Bruce, my friend, I adore you, too.

Signs

We all know how important signs are in life.  There is hardly a moment that people aren't somehow touched by signs.  This has been very relevant to us over the past few weeks.  Gracie is enrolled in driver's ed classes.  She has a very animated teacher who enjoys telling stories.  Much of what she shares is hopefully going to stick in the young minds she's talking to.  She is teaching her students to read physical, planted in the ground signs.

There are other signs to.  Everyday we are with people and can get a read on them.  We are able to see what mood people are in from seeing posture, crossed arms, lack of eye contact or smiles and eyes that sparkle with joy.  I have always been fascinated with body language.  I study it.  I use it every day.  I know that I, too, give off vibes or body language that lets people know how I am feeling.

So, this brings me to this weekend.  Gracie had a strings festival at school.  This is an orchestra concert that involves several elementary schools, Whitehorse and Sennett middle schools and La Follette High School.  The gym had all of the bleachers pulled out.  The floor was a sea of chairs and music stands.  There were grandparents, parents, siblings and friends in the audience.  It was a packed house.  We were able to find bleacher seats at the very top row and in a spot that we could see Gracie very well.

The music began.  It was amazing from start to finish.  I've been to quite a few of these concerts and sometimes things get a little rocky.  Usually the strings will get back on course and the songs are enjoyed.  Not this time, there was no rockiness at all.  This was truly well done.  My excitement heightened with each song that they played.  Some classical and  modern songs were featured.  I couldn't help but sing along.

Gracie really enjoys her orchestra teacher.  He was her teacher in fifth grade.  The first year we lived in Madison.  His impact on her was great and she is glad to be in his class again.  One of the reasons she enjoys his class so much is that he treats the students with respect and expects the same from them.  They are adults in his orchestra class.  And he throws in humor and lots of puns that keep them laughing.

So this is where it happened.  Just to recap, I was elated with the music being played.  I was commenting to Scott and other parents that this was such an awesome way to spend a Saturday afternoon.  And then I saw it.  Gracie's teacher stood up on his stand, picked up his baton and with a closed fist tapped his hand over his heart.  That was it.  I felt like I was at a Rolling Stones concert.  His appreciation for his students was so apparent.  I then, in a small way repeated the gesture and said quietly (thank goodness), we love you, too.  And then I waived a quick peace sign.

Later in the day we had a trivia contest to participate in at church.  I relived this part of the concert with my trivia team.  Gracie looked at me with some of the biggest eyes ever.  Mom, you didn't.  Oh yes I did.  You see, when her teacher makes the fist over his heart gesture he's actually showing his students what time they should start playing in.  Oops.

Sometimes signs can be confusing.  Even misunderstood.  I choose to believe in dual meanings.

Up And Running...

My last post was what seems like forever ago.  I've had things I wanted to say.  I've mentally written blogs in my mind.  It usually happens when I'm about to do something and I don't have time to jot my thoughts down.  A few weeks ago I had this terrific idea while I was in traffic.  I willed myself to hang on to the idea until I had time to type and it was a fail.  Then last week I had a sort of half awake dream just before I woke up.  This is what I wanted to say.  I knew it.  And then I went downstairs to feeds the pups and make some java.  Idea gone.  Poof.

So today another subject came to me and I hung on to it.  This past summer I wasn't sure how I would do with the no driving thing.  For three months.  Turns out I did ok.  If I needed to go anywhere, Scott took me.  He said that he wished my backseat driver's license would have been voluntarily surrendered, too.  I learned I love being home.  At the end of the summer it was a surreal feeling to get my license again.  Thirty-two years after my first one.  And yes, I drove home from the DMV.

I needed to take a break from my blog and let my brain reboot.  My mind was a little foggy.  Every once and a while I couldn't find the right word.  One day I kept saying grocery when I meant to say jewelry.  A small thing I know, but frustrating all the same.  I hardly have any of this anymore.  Like my doctor said, I'll be more sensitive to these little blips than most, but it's normal and I'm fine.

I may have become part sloth. And I loved it!  I loved having people come to visit me.  And having people pick me up and take me places.  I loved purging the house with Scott and Gracie.  I loved Netflix.  I saw Luke Bryan and Bruno Mars in concert.  I spent time with my beautiful, silly forever friends.  I enjoyed the fruits of our garden.  I met two of my favorite authors.  The Minimalists.  I put my hand out to shake theirs and got hugs instead.  I was absolutely giddy over the moon.  And my husband was an absolute sport.  He took me to the book signing.  He got hugs, too.

I'm up and running.  Reboot and updates complete.  I'm feeling renewed.  Until the other day when I told Gracie I'd be ready in just a few minutes.  I needed to jump in the refrigerator and I'd be ready to go.  Of course I meant shower, but I happened to be a little tired and putting the milk back in the refrigerator.  Small blip.  It's good to be back.

Lost and Found

I love Shelties.  I've loved five of them especially.  I know someone who has loved hundreds of Shelties.  Her name is Lisa and she is a superhero.  She works day in and day out to place beautiful dogs in safe homes with loving families.

And that's exactly what she did with Theo.  He's such a cute little fella.  Two days ago fourteen week old Theo got away from his doggy daycare.  I hope you're sitting because the turn of events that took place are nothing short of a whirlwind kind of miracle.  Theo's mom called Lisa.  She did this because Lisa has told all of us to do this.  When Lisa delivers your new Sheltie/family member to your house, these are some of her parting words, "if your dog gets away or lost, call me.  I can dispatch help to you in minutes."  She means this.  Dogs have been lost before.  And thankfully they have been found, too.

The day that Theo went missing, help came from everywhere.   Lisa drove two hours to help.  Others in the area and out of the area rallied.    You see these people are part of the community that Lisa built.  Other people wanted to help, too.  Little girls passed out flyers.  Neighbors helped look.  Other Sheltie families drove around.  And walked around.  Police Departments helped.  Postings on social media kept everyone connected.  We were all on pins and needles.

We were doing all of this because one of our family was missing and needed to come home.  This was all happening because Lisa has helped us become a community or a family and that's what family does for each other.   We support one another in times of need and we celebrate in times of joy.

With Theo there is joy.  He was found.  His mom is over the moon.  And tonight I hope that our superhero can retire her cape and have eight hours of sound sleep and sweet dreams.

May 7...

So this all actually started on May 6.  I started to feel poorly.  You know the body aches, tired and a migraine headache.  I actually went home a little early that day from work.  I took a nap, felt a little better and thought I was over it.  Until the middle of the night.  I was sick.  Really sick.  But then I thought this illness was out of my system and I would rebound quickly.  I went to work the next day.  Mostly because there was a meeting that I had been looking forward to and didn't want to miss.  I made it through the day, but barely.  I became couch bound from the minute I came through the door of our house.

This was the last night of confirmation, May 7.  I napped and tried to will myself to be better, but it wasn't working.  The headache was intensifying and I couldn't do it.  So Scott drove Gracie and her friend to church.   While he was gone things got worse.  Nausea, vomiting, my head felt as though it may explode.  Scott offered to take me to Urgent Care and I said no.  Time came for him to pick up the girls.  Almost right away after he left I started to feel even worse.  I made it to the bathroom and was sick once again.  And I was so weak.  My head was pounding and I felt as though something had ruptured in my brain.  I could barely get up off the floor in the bathroom, but I did and made my way back to the couch.  I literally fell onto the couch.  I could feel myself fading into a major fog or tiredness.  And then Bailey, my dog, started nudging me with his nose.  And then he started pawing me on my chest.  At that moment this was incredibly annoying to me.  I tried to get him to stop, but he wouldn't.  He did calm down a bit, but continued to lay his head on my chest.  I know now that he was trying to keep me awake.  And he did an excellent job.  I love that boy.  By the way, the girl dogs were on the floor at my side the whole time, too.

Scott and Gracie got home and I told Scott I was now seeing circles of color and flashing lights in my peripheral vision.  I need you to call for help.  He dialed nurse direct and she wanted to send an ambulance.  Scott said he could get me to the ER faster than she could send an ambulance.  Away we went.  As we approached the ER I told Scott I didn't think that I could walk.  In to the ER Gracie went and a wheelchair was brought for me.  And this is where I started to fade.  What I will tell you now is not from my memory, but from Scott and Gracie.  I couldn't answer simple evaluative questions that the doctor and nursing staff were asking.  My blood pressure spiked to 255/110.  My veins were not cooperating and the nurses couldn't get an IV into either of my arms.  And then I started to seize.  I experienced a grand mal seizure that lasted well over a minute.  Gracie and Scott saw the start of it and a nurse seeing how upset Gracie was took them to the waiting room.  The staff ended up putting a hypodermic needle of Adavan into my thigh to help stop the seizure.

At this point the doctor told Scott that I may have a brain bleed and that they were doing a CT scan on my head.  That test came back negative.  But I needed to have more testing done and so arrangements were made to take me to the hospital.  I remember none of this.  I guess I actually got to have two ambulances because they needed an extra person in the back with me.  I am told that we left the ER with lights and sirens blazing. All the way through town.  Gracie also told me later, because I asked, that a couple of the paramedics were pretty cute.  She said one especially.  And I guess that paramedic asked me if I knew where I was (at the ER) and I told him a building.  He said, well she's not wrong!

The next thing I remember is waking up in the hospital room with Scott looking over me.  You scared us he said.  We thought we might lose you.  I could see it in his face.  Something that happens between people when they have known each other for 23 years.  This was big.  He held my hand and I slipped in and out of sleep.  I know I asked for lots of clarification and had Gracie and Scott repeat things over and over trying to understand what happened.  They were and still are patient with me and helped me understand.

In the morning I saw my doctor, two neurologists and internist and had all sorts of tests.  By this time I had two IV lines in my arms and all sorts of monitoring devices attached to me.  My mom and Amy showed up and that was a great comfort.  My dad called our Pastor.   He told my dad that he was terribly sick and would send someone else.  A lovely woman named Melva came to pray with us.  I felt very blessed.

I had an MRI with contrast dye and without.  I had another CT scan and an EEG.  My headache was still there and getting worse again.  I really couldn't take much for pain because of the test I was having, but in the end I did receive relief and relaxed.   One more little story is that I bit my tongue when I was having my seizure.  Oh man did that hurt.  Thankfully the cafeteria has awesome ice cream and shakes.

So in the end I was in the hospital for two days.  I had every test possible.  I do not have diabetes, epilepsy, a tumor, an aneurism, no strokes, no heart or kidney issues.  I have been checked out top to bottom.  Literally.  And it's a mystery.

The good news is that I am on seizure and high blood pressure medication.  This should prevent another episode.  The bad news is that I can't drive for three months.  They suggest I don't take baths or swim.  Things I never would have thought of.  I can't really be as independent as I'm used to.  But this doesn't bother me as much as I thought it would.

I have to thank so many.  I had such lovely nurses at St. Mary's.  Massa and Carol.  Lovely and kind.  The doctors were funny and helped me understand that I need to be patient and let my brain "reboot" itself.  My sister for giving me the best head massage ever.  My mom for coming to stay with me a couple of days.  My dad for his reassuring phone calls.  My principal, Sally and friends at work. Everyone made such an impact on me.  And my heart almost can't hold all the love I have for Scott and Gracie and all of the care they have given me.

I have received cards, texts, emails, flowers and prayers that I definitely feel.  I have to say that I am usually the caregiver, not the one being cared for.  This is a new perspective for me.  And this is what I have learned.  Nothing matters.  Stress over life, work, the future.  Whatever burdens you, it just isn't that important.  Today, the here and now is what counts.  Faith, family and friends, that's what matters.  With that kind of support all the rest of life can be dealt with.  It's really that simple.  

A Memory Chain

I read something very sad this past weekend.  A favorite place of mine burned down.  A place filled with memories for me.  Younkers Department Store in downtown Des Moines, IA.  Younkers had a Tea Room where lunches and fashion shows were the norm.  I enjoyed many times there.  My dainty chicken salad, lemonade and delicious ice cream.  I went to the store often with my Grandma Selma and my mom.  Amy, too.  There were other visits to Younkers with my Grandpa Phil.  We would have lunch and shop for a special outfit or dress for a holiday.

I remember one special trip with my Grandpa where we rode the bus to Younkers, had lunch and shopped.  My special purchase was wrapped in tissue, a pretty box and finished off with a lovely ribbon.  We had to walk a few blocks home and I was tired.  My Grandpa picked me up and carried me most of the way.  Me and my special gift.

After reading the article about the fire in the building that used to house Younkers and now was being renovated (ironically by a firm from Madison) I started to link a chain of memories together.  I remembered a boy named Michael who used to live next door to my grandparents.  He was about my age.  We played when I visited Des Moines.  He had a swing set and we would invent outside games. It was nice to have a friend my age to spend time with when I visited.  After getting to know him a bit, I found out that he had cancer.  I didn't understand completely.  He was well enough to play and the fact that he was sick soon left my mind.  Until one visit.  I remember arriving later in the evening.  I knew I wouldn't be able to play with Michael until the next day.  When I asked to go over and see him my grandma said it would be best if I didn't.  Michael was quite sick and couldn't have visitors.  I was so sad that I couldn't play with my Des Moines friend.  I know I asked several more times to see him and always got the same answer.  At the end of my visit, I remember standing in the driveway between my grandparent's house and Michael's house.  I knew what window was his bedroom window.  I wished so badly to see him.  And I'm not sure how long it took, but the blind was pulled back.  Just a little.  And a hand gave me a quick wave.  And that was the last time I saw Michael.  He had died by my next visit.

It was a lovely neighborhood that my grandparents lived in.  Sweet bungalow homes.  Some two story houses.  Lots of brick and bay windows.  And the screen porches on the backs of the houses.  We would have lunches and dinners in the the three season porch off the back of my grandparent's house.  My grandpa had his desk/office on the porch.  He kept me very busy being his secretary.  I took copious notes, ran errands and made sure he had a snack.  He complimented me on what a great job I did.  He told me I was his best secretary.  At least since my mom had been his secretary.

It was amazing how my memories came flooding back to me so vividly and quickly with the reading of this one article about Younkers in downtown Des Moines.  A place that may no longer physically be standing, but is still and will forever be a place of happy memories for me.

Sitting OnThe Fence

Saturday was a beautiful day.  I slept in and consumed copious amounts of coffee.  In a leisurely way.  I met two friends for lunch and shopping.  It was an enjoyable day all around.  And then I returned home.  Things went from bad to worse.

I parked in the garage and lowered the garage door.  I knew I was in for the night and bolted the back door.  I then fed the dogs and let them out the patio door.  While they were outside getting things done, I decided to go out the front door and get our mail.  Upon returning to the house I reached out for the door handle and it broke off the door and into my hand.  Whaaat?!  Are you kidding me?  I tried to fix the door knob enough to get back in the house, but that wasn't happening.

Deep breath.  I should mention that Scott and Gracie were gone for the weekend.  I walked between the houses on my way to the garage thinking that this was no problem.  I'll just open the garage door and go through the back.  But wait.  I bolted the door.  Remember?  In for the night...

Ok.  Only one option.  The patio door.  Sounds easy, right?  Nope.  We have a fence.  It's only four feet tall.  And yes, it has a gate.  But the gate has been frozen in all winter.  So there is only one way in.  Up and over.  That's right.

So I need to back up a minute.  I tore my meniscus in my left knee a couple of weeks ago and my knee keeps popping out.  I used my right leg to swing myself over the fence.  But to no avail.  I still had to push off with my left leg.  And when I did, the old knee popped out.  Problem is that in order for me to put my knee back in place I have to not be straddling a fence.  I also don't have enough momentum to swing myself over the fence.  This was very awkward to say the least.  At times even painful.

Now if this all isn't funny enough, my dogs are still out in the yard.  And there they are.  Lined up according to size.  Big, middle and little. Sitting at attention not missing a second of this show.  They are not barking.  Just watching.  I swear I could hear their thoughts.  I'm pretty sure they were saying,  what in the heck are you doing?

So in the meantime, there I am, dangling from the top of the fence.  I know that I just need to throw my weight over to my right leg.  I can't land on the disjointed or left side.   With all my might I send myself flying over.  Not a moment too soon either.  The position I was in on top of that fence was something I wish never to repeat.

I yelled, AND I'M IN!  The dogs ran away from me like I was a lunatic.  Anyway, in the patio door was the plan.  Well, we have a lot of snow and ice.  The little ramp of snow covered in ice made it almost impossible to get up on the deck.  I grabbed a post on the deck and slid myself up.  I slid the patio door open and was never so happy to be inside my home.

I talked with Scott who reminded me of the key to the back door that is hidden.  Super.  The door knob couldn't be salvaged.  Today, Scott installed a new, better door knob.  And we reviewed once again where the key is.  And I'll tell you what.  There are tons of places I would rather be than sitting on the fence.  And I mean that literally.

My Dryer Has Balls

Knowing how many people read my blog, that was kind of hard for me to write.  But it's been said, or written.  And I'm not taking it back.  It's actually an amazing thing.  My dryer's balls.  I'll explain more about them later.

I got the courage to write the above paragraph because of a conversation that my mom, dad and I had earlier today.  My folks sent me a book called My Dog:  The Paradox:  A Lovable Discourse about Man's Best Friend, by Matthew Inman.  Inman talks about the odd to us behaviors that our dogs have.  And this brought to mind a story I told my mom and dad.  It was a play date or momma therapy as we called it.  Our kids were newborn to one year old.  I decided to host.  I bought coffee, organic tea, juice and made bran muffins.  Health was abounding.  I cleaned and cleaned.  It wasn't that my house was dirty, but I had been to momma therapy at a few other houses.  One of these houses was organic as heck and lickably clean.  Like no kidding.  I know that you could have eaten off her floor.  Even the bathroom floor.  I was in simplifiers heaven when I walked through her door.  It smelled like lemons and her decor consisted of white walls, hardwood floors and leather furniture.  I thought for a moment that maybe I should live here.

Back to the play date I was hosting.  I had washed, dusted and vacuumed to the extreme.  And the door bell started to ring.  In came the new mommies and their offspring.  Everyone got situated.  We had had our treats and settled into a circle on the floor like we often did.  Our babies didn't like "tummy time" very much.  But we had discovered something amazing.  If we sat in a circle on the floor and put our babies facing each other on their tummies they loved it!  They giggled and cooed.  Life was good.  One of the mommas commented on the cleanliness of my home and I blushed with gratitude.  She said, with two dogs, I don't know how you do it!  I could not have been prouder.  And if on cue, in they walked.  Chester and Winston.  The babies squealed and the mommas fawned over them.

And then it happened.  One of my dogs, who shall remain nameless, did the butt drag across the floor.  In my mind I was saying oh no, oh no, oh no.  Please don't let this leave a mark.  You know, a poop stain mark.  Well all of the wishing in the world wasn't going to change the brown mark about thirty inches long that was streaking across my carpet full of babies and mommas.  And what happened next I can only attribute to temporary insanity.  I said, oh that hardly ever happens.  It's because he needs his anal glands expressed.  I better move that up in priority on my to do list!  Almost all of the mommas laughed.  The one that didn't was Mrs. Superclean.   I decided that I no longer needed to live with her.  Luckily I have a very strong self esteem.

Anyway, back to my dryer's balls.  I am constantly looking for simpler ways to do things.  I want to simplify and be friendly to the environment.  And there they were.  These felted wool balls that are for your dryer.  They bounce around your wet clothes and help separate them while drying.  It helps the air circulation be more efficient and actually cuts time off drying.  I did experiment with this and sure enough, they work.  And because I love to have fun, and because I love to be funny, I had to tell you that my dryer has balls.  Please don't ask me what color these balls are.  I am sharing my fun gradually and I'm just not ready to be THAT funny!

Spaghetti For Breakfast

Scott was away at a two week class on the east coast.  We were happy that he had this awesome opportunity to learn from the best at the FBI Academy.  We anxiously awaited his calls at  night to hear about his adventures.  And we missed him.

We missed him being with us, but decided to do things a little differently.  We decided to do some of the things that we don't normally do when Scott's around.  We watched shows that we liked.  We had a spa night without interruption.  And we ate spaghetti.  A lot.  Scott isn't much for red sauces.  He actually gets a stomach ache.  So, it would stand to reason I don't make much with red sauce.  This is a challenge for me, but I've gotten pretty good at avoiding and adapting.

Back to the spaghetti.  We made a huge batch.  You know.  The kind you make when you're starving and think that you'll eat more than you actually do.  This was fine for us.  We ate it for supper.  And a another supper.  I warmed it up for lunch again and again.  With all this noodle nibbling I thought the leftovers would disappear sooner.  They seemed endless.  And yet we didn't tire of this favorite meal.

One morning Gracie and I were getting ready for school.  I said what would you like for breakfast?  She looked thoughtful.  How about spaghetti?  Really?  Ok.  I don't see why not.  And we ate the final  helping of spaghetti.  I have to admit I was apprehensive.  Who eats spaghetti for breakfast?  Cold pizza, yes.  But this was different.  As we sat and ate I thought, who says we can't have this meal at this time of the day?  It's warm, it's nutritious and gave us the energy that we needed to start our day.

I thought this would be our little secret.  That was until I got to work.  I worked at Gracie's school.  I was barely through the front door and greeted by a member of the staff with, spaghetti for breakfast?  And then another and another.  Really?  Spaghetti?  And I found myself defending my actions.  We ate well, warm and have energy.  Lots of joking ensued and I have to admit it was all worth it.  Unusual news travels.  Especially when it comes from a giddy first grader.

I've pretty much stuck to actual breakfast foods in the morning since then.  But on occasion I will venture from the norm.  I think I'm better for it.  I'm not wasting food and my hunger is satisfied.  Like this morning.  I went to the grocery store.  As I was putting the groceries away I saw a small container of chili in the refrigerator.  It pains me to throw food away.  And I was hungry.  So guess what I had for breakfast?  Here's to spontaneity.  And here's hoping that we always leave ourselves open to looking at things differently.

Resolutions, Smetherlutions

Here we are about to ring in the new year.  Out with the old and in with the new.  So they say.  How many resolutions have I made and not kept.  Tons.  That's how many.  And then there have been the years that I don't feel it's worth it to even try.  Why disappoint myself?  I'm just setting myself up for a let down.

Do you ever wonder how much money is spent on stuff that involves resolutions?  All of the exercise equipment, juicers, magic diet pills, and the list goes on.  I'm not anti-resolution.  I fully support healthy choices and positive moves that make more time for faith, family and friends.

I've tried all of the promises to myself and they really haven't worked out that well. In fact I often do the opposite of what was planned.  So that's what I'm going to do.  The opposite.  Stay with me.  This  is a little confusing.  Here goes.

I am going to eat more and sleep less.  I am going to spend lots of money.  I will cut back on my exercise routine.  I will spend less time with family and friends.  I won't read as much.  I will cut back on my walks with the dogs.  I will watch more tv.   I hope I don't have to travel at all.

In my goofy way of thinking, I feel I may have discovered a new way to keep my promises, my resolutions.  They say that opposites attract.  Maybe if I resolve to do the opposite of what I say it will actually happen.  Yep.  A reversal of thinking.  I'm liking it.  I think this may actually work for me.  Oh wait, I'm pretty sure that this will be a complete failure.  Wink.

Color My World

So I saw my therapist today.  We spent time catching up.  Even when you've found someone that you can confide in, there are common pleasantries that occur.  How is Scott?  And Gracie?  How is work going?  You get the picture.

After that we get into deep discussions.  About life.  About the holidays.  How we celebrate them and what is positive and negative about this time of year.  We discuss holidays that have passed.  We talk about loved ones that are no longer living.

We talk about how it is important to take care of yourself during stressful times.  We chat about the old example of the airplane emergency advice.  You know the one.  Where the flight attendant tells you that in case of emergency you should put your oxygen mask on before you help others.  We talk about how counterintuitive this sounds to us, how it is part of our DNA to help others first, even though we completely understand the deeper meaning of taking care of yourself so that you can help others.

And as the minutes pass and our time is up, I feel refreshed.  I feel like I've solved some problems.  I feel lucky to have someone I trust to bounce ideas off of.  I sort of feel like a new woman.   I'd like to think that I look renewed, too.

We bid each other farewell.  Merry Christmas and Happy New Year, too.  And I schedule my next appointment for six weeks from today.  In February I will do this again.  I will see my hair designer for another therapy session and coloring of the grays.  I look forward to it.  Always.

Owls

I'm not sure when my fascination with owls began.  I remember my Mom and Grandma making oil paintings that had owls on them.  The detail was spot on.  They would paint on pieces of wood and the end result was gorgeous.  I also love the fact that these creatures are nocturnal and can turn their heads up to 270 degrees around.  Phenomenal.  Maybe that's when it started.

Fast forward to now.  I have a few owl items dispersed throughout the house.  There is kind of an artsy one made of metal, wire and stones.  It's up high on a book shelf and surveys all of the happenings in the kitchen/dining room.  I have a picture of an owl in our bedroom.  I love the colors in this picture.  It matches our mossy greens, reds and blues. Perfectly.There are a few other owls in the house, but not many.

Then the catalog came.  Pottery Barn.  My favorite.  I found an owl in the catalog that is ceramic. The price was more than I was willing to spend.  Trying to be patient, I waited. And I waited some more.  Then I just happened to be at the mall.  The home of Pottery Barn.  I walked into the store and there it was.  My owl.  It was still regular price, so I pulled myself away.  Just then a sales clerk walked up to me.  Let me check on the price was what she said.  No discount.

The sales clerk then got very close to me and whispered, are you my friend?  Without hesitation I answered yes.  I'll be right back she said.  Within seconds she was back with a 40 percent off coupon.  For friends and family.  She said, I'm Sharon by the way.  I'm Ann, I said.

At the checkout she greeted me by name.  Hi Ann, did you find what you were looking for? Indeed I did, Sharon.  I handed over my 40 percent off card and smiled.  This owl was coming home with me.

This owl now sits in the middle of the dining room table.  It was made for this spot.  I really enjoy this ceramic owl.  I enjoy the journey I took in buying the owl more.  I met someone who has a great sense of humor and is spontaneous just like me.  Life can be a hoot.  I know that you get that.

60 Minutes

No.  Not the show.  Although I have to say I enjoy the news program.  I'm talking about an hour or sixty minutes of time.  What about it?  Well, I found myself a few weeks ago thinking that I had too much to do.  I had too many places to be.  And I felt overwhelmed by tasks I wanted to complete.

I decided to take one day at a time.  I would make my lists and take them slowly.  But even this was too much.  The defeat would set in before the day was done.  No, I didn't get my list finished.  And worse, my leftovers from the day before would be added to the next day making things feel out of reach.  And then a funny thing happened.  I broke my toes.  You know this already.  Some may think it was an inconvenience.  I choose to see this as a blessing.

If I hadn't fallen, I would have never been forced to take a break.  Literally.  I had to let others get things and do things.  I had to accept and be grateful for this.  I'm very independent and used to doing a lot for myself.  And for others.  Now it was my time to accept help.  Scott did more than his share around the house, with Gracie and to help me.  I love how we know each other so well that he can actually pick up on what I need and want.  Sometimes I found I didn't even have to ask.

I found that from the moment I fell, my girl could be there for me, too.  In fact the day I fell she was the first to respond.  Here she was, fresh out of shoulder surgery herself, hooked up to an ice cuff and rendering me aid. When I fell she unhooked herself  from her ice machine and brought me ice packs.
With her good arm she could carry a light basket of laundry to me and I could fold clothes.  Later, Scott would carry the basket upstairs.  Team effort.  We got things done and felt accomplished.

I scaled my lists back.  It wasn't reasonable to keep going at the lightning pace I had before. Then about a week into my injury I scrapped the lists altogether.  Who needs them anyway?  What needed to be done and addressed was attended to.  Others did these things just as well as I did.  In some cases even better.  It was a time when I became very grounded in the fact that my team works like a well oiled machine.

I have shed the walking boot I needed to wear.  I'm still taking things slow.  I come home from work and soak my foot and elevate.  And I'm still taking one hour at a time.  I do this not to avoid being overwhelmed.  I take 60 minutes at a time now to enjoy and to embrace my team and the time we have together.

Look At What Happens When You Skip A Step

I have been known to take shortcuts.  I love it when I find a quicker way through town.  One that skips a few lights.  One that takes me on roads less traveled.  And the end result is that I usually get to my destination sooner.

I have not always been very patient.  With others, I generally am very patient.  Not so much with myself.  Yes.  I'm the one that likes the shampoo and conditioner combination.  It's quicker that way.  I like the clothes that don't need to be ironed.  I use the laundry soap with softener in it.  I am constantly looking for ways to be quicker in things and more efficient.

I have had some success and some failures in cooking.  There are times when the recipe should be followed to a "t".  And if the recipe says you should sift your dry ingredients, you should follow this direction.  I have also had some success in using substitutes.  But it hasn't worked out well every time.

So this weekend, I did all sorts of rushing around.  I finished cleaning my upstairs in record time.  I was celebrating this accomplishment by whistling as I walked, ok bounced, down the steps.  Almost to the end I missed the second to last step and fell.

After a couple of hours the pain had not subsided.  In fact it was getting worse.  Even after icing it.  And elevating it.  I needed to go to urgent care.  Luckily my sore foot is my left one. I'm still able to drive.  An x-ray was ordered.  My doctor said it looked like a sprain.  The x-ray said it wasn't. In fact three toes are broken.  Pretty badly, too.  Home I went with a fancy new boot and a pair of crutches.  And now I get to have a follow up appointment with a podiatrist.

All this for skipping one step.  Just one...

47 Things I know...

Ok.  I'm not actually going to type 47 things that I know.  The reason that I used the number 47 is because that's my new age.  I like the sound of that...my new age.  It's mine and I'm going to own it and tell you a few things that I do know.

I like to spend time, not money.  Any day of the week.  I have money.  I need money.  But the things that mean the most to me don't cost a thing and are yet priceless.  Spending time with a friend over a two hour cup of coffee.  Visiting family and laughing at the jokes that only your family understands.  This is the stuff that life's made of.

A good meal made by someone you love, or for someone you love, nourishes the stomach and soul.  On my birthday Scott made steaks.  With sautéed mushrooms and onions.  It was a meal that pleased my palette.  More than that the company, my man and daughter, made me feel full and loved.

Surround yourself with young ones.  It makes you remember that you're not always right.  It keeps you fresh.  In ideas, humor and language.  It will challenge your brain.  And they will drain your energy and help you sleep well.

If your clothes don't fit, quit wearing them.  I did another major purge this summer of drawers and closets.  Seriously.  It's amazing what I really don't wear.  In my world a good fitting pair of jeans is worth a million bucks.  Ok, not a million, but they are worth a lot.

Moisturize.  On the inside and on the outside.  I recently read a statistic about how Americans are often not hydrated well.  This makes a difference in organs functioning properly and how your skin appears.  Of course there is the need for topical moisture, too. Especially as one ages.  Find one that works.  Your outer shell depends on it.

I don't feel 47.  And I don't feel 21 either.  I feel content.  I feel loved.  I love and laugh.  Like all of the time.  Perhaps this is what keeps me feeling younger than my actual new age.   Or maybe it's all of the lotion and the young people I surround myself with.  Whatever it is, I'm going to keep doing it.

For Benny And Schoep

It's no secret that I am in love with dogs.  I didn't grow up with them, but I adopted one the minute I married.  This is where my love began.  Belvedere was an English Bulldog.  Not the lovey on your lap kind of dog.  He was the kind that pulled me around the block and ate furniture when brought into the house.  But I loved him.  He opened the door for me to love other dogs.

Soon after came Chester and Winston.  Both of them changed me forever.  They made me a better person.  I will always have them in my heart.  And that brings me to Benny and Schoep.  These dogs were not mine.  But their humans shared them with many.  I did have the opportunity to meet Benny.  He was the fun loving fella that lived next door to my parents.  Benny and my dad had a connection.  They visited often.  Dad said he genuinely felt an affectionate bond between them.  A little over a week ago, dad and Benny shared their last visit.  Benny saw something interesting and died shortly after darting out into the street.

And a few weeks ago Schoep died.  I never met him.  Or his human, John.  Schoep was this wonderful boy who had the love of a man that helped him reach the age of 20.  He was hard of hearing and had poor eyesight.  His hips were bad and he had arthritis.  But somehow John found a way to comfort him and restore some pep to this beautiful boy. John would carry Schoep into the lake and let the water work its healing wonders on him. Schoep touched thousands of lives because of a picture that was in a newspaper of John and Schoep on one of their trips to the lake.  The world was honored to be with John and Schoep in their journey together.

I am writing about these two boys because they are universal ambassadors of love.  We as humans provide them with love, food, water and a home.  We make sure that they have proper medical care and licenses.  But what they give back to us is priceless.  They teach us to love at a level deeper than we ever knew we could.  They teach us to be thoughtful. To be happy to see each other.  Every time we come home.  They teach us to be patient and kind.  To exercise.  They teach us to play and be silly. They show us that even though they don't speak to us, they understand.  They are incredibly forgiving.  They never see us humans as flawed.

I know these families are grieving the loss of Benny and Schoep.  Many others are mourning with them.  And this is where we can take a lesson from our furry loved ones.  Be gentle in this time.  With yourself.  Allow yourself the time to feel.   Remember some of the valuable lessons these wonderful creatures have taught us.  Be thoughtful and happy to see each other.  Every time we come home.  Be patient and kind.  Be silly and play.  Exercise. Understand and forgive.  And keep your heart open to love again.  This is the best way I know of to honor our four-legged family members.

The Traveling Bassinet

We had been looking forward to this day for a long time.  The day that we would walk through our back door with our new baby.  I had a difficult pregnancy, so it was a relief to be at this point.  Mom and baby healthy and home.  As a result of my time on bed rest there wasn't a lot of time to plan and decorate.

Oh, don't worry.  I made my maiden voyage to the children's furniture store.  And within fifteen minutes I had dropped a thousand dollars.  Scott didn't say a word.  He didn't blink an eye.  He just wrote the check.  For this grand amount we received a crib, a dresser and bedding for our new baby.  Blame it on the hormones, or perhaps my limited time to shop, but it was an insane amount to spend. Fourteen years ago.

Back to the much awaited moment of walking through the door with our priceless addition. She was tiny.  I know, I know.  All babies are small.  But Gracie was four pounds, fourteen ounces.  A little itty bitty thing.  She was early, but healthy as a horse.  We introduced her to our dogs.  They checked her out.  Sniffed her.  Licked her little head.  And they gave us their approval.  It was as if they said, "it's all good.  You can keep her."

After a little while we decided to put her in her crib.  I laid her down gently.  Scott and I looked at her sleeping peacefully and smiled.  And then I freaked.  She's too small to sleep in such a big space!  This isn't going to work for me.  And then the tears.  And there were many.

Scott was off like a superhero.  With the help of my mom he left for the children's furniture store.  To buy a bassinet.  Because the thousand dollar furniture was too big for his baby.  Not really.  But he understood that it was too big for his wife to bear at this very moment.

Back they came with a lovely little bassinet covered in white eyelet.  It was perfect.  Small, like she was.  It was on a stand that had wheels.  And wheel it I did.  From the living room, to the kitchen and back to my bedside.

It wasn't long before she grew too big to be in this bassinet.  By this time I was much more comfortable with her sleeping in her gigantic crib.  Not really.  I mean her crib wasn't gigantic.  I meant that I was at peace with her being in there.  Gracie was at peace, too. She slept beautifully.

Such a pretty bassinet it was.  And so when we heard that friends were having a baby we loaned it to them.  They kept it through two babies.  No sooner was it returned to us and another couple we knew needed it.  They kept it through four babies.  Right now it is being used by a baby boy born a month ago.

This pretty little impulse buy is getting a lot of use.  This traveling bassinet has held a lot of babies.  It is the gift that keeps giving.