Monday, February 24, 2014

Sitting OnThe Fence

Saturday was a beautiful day.  I slept in and consumed copious amounts of coffee.  In a leisurely way.  I met two friends for lunch and shopping.  It was an enjoyable day all around.  And then I returned home.  Things went from bad to worse.

I parked in the garage and lowered the garage door.  I knew I was in for the night and bolted the back door.  I then fed the dogs and let them out the patio door.  While they were outside getting things done, I decided to go out the front door and get our mail.  Upon returning to the house I reached out for the door handle and it broke off the door and into my hand.  Whaaat?!  Are you kidding me?  I tried to fix the door knob enough to get back in the house, but that wasn't happening.

Deep breath.  I should mention that Scott and Gracie were gone for the weekend.  I walked between the houses on my way to the garage thinking that this was no problem.  I'll just open the garage door and go through the back.  But wait.  I bolted the door.  Remember?  In for the night...

Ok.  Only one option.  The patio door.  Sounds easy, right?  Nope.  We have a fence.  It's only four feet tall.  And yes, it has a gate.  But the gate has been frozen in all winter.  So there is only one way in.  Up and over.  That's right.

So I need to back up a minute.  I tore my meniscus in my left knee a couple of weeks ago and my knee keeps popping out.  I used my right leg to swing myself over the fence.  But to no avail.  I still had to push off with my left leg.  And when I did, the old knee popped out.  Problem is that in order for me to put my knee back in place I have to not be straddling a fence.  I also don't have enough momentum to swing myself over the fence.  This was very awkward to say the least.  At times even painful.

Now if this all isn't funny enough, my dogs are still out in the yard.  And there they are.  Lined up according to size.  Big, middle and little. Sitting at attention not missing a second of this show.  They are not barking.  Just watching.  I swear I could hear their thoughts.  I'm pretty sure they were saying,  what in the heck are you doing?

So in the meantime, there I am, dangling from the top of the fence.  I know that I just need to throw my weight over to my right leg.  I can't land on the disjointed or left side.   With all my might I send myself flying over.  Not a moment too soon either.  The position I was in on top of that fence was something I wish never to repeat.

I yelled, AND I'M IN!  The dogs ran away from me like I was a lunatic.  Anyway, in the patio door was the plan.  Well, we have a lot of snow and ice.  The little ramp of snow covered in ice made it almost impossible to get up on the deck.  I grabbed a post on the deck and slid myself up.  I slid the patio door open and was never so happy to be inside my home.

I talked with Scott who reminded me of the key to the back door that is hidden.  Super.  The door knob couldn't be salvaged.  Today, Scott installed a new, better door knob.  And we reviewed once again where the key is.  And I'll tell you what.  There are tons of places I would rather be than sitting on the fence.  And I mean that literally.

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