Friday, June 25, 2010

A Born Spiller

That's right. I'm a born spiller. Always have been. I dare you to find me in anything that isn't blue, black, brown, denim. I can't help it. I've decided to embrace my fault and just live with it.

After college, I spent the customary hundreds of dollars on a "working" wardrobe. Suits, skirts, professional looking stuff. And if I don't say so myself, I looked pretty good. That is until I spilled on myself. I am not exaggerating here. I spilled on myself every day---at least once. I tried all sorts of things. Drink only white soda, water, eat only salads with clear dressing. Doesn't matter. If you spill on a silk or rayon blend, it still spots. And if you eat salads with clear dressings chances are they are oil based. Lots of dry cleaning bills. Lots of money out the window. So then I tried another tactic. Don't drink or eat much while at work and in the presence of others. Well, this only gave me headaches from dehydration and not eating enough. And then one day a concerned friend asked if I had an eating disorder. I kindly thanked her for her concern and said that no, actually I have a spilling disorder.

I tried to do a study of my behavior. I determined that I am not a slob. I do generally hit my target. But I also spill at least one time a day. I love to talk. I get animated when talking with others. I try very hard to not speak with any food in my mouth, but the occasional mishap has been known to occur. I also have been known to attempt multi-tasking. Dangerous. Should carry a license for that. So the inevitable happens. I hardly even drink in the car anymore. At least not when I'm driving. Coffee, soda, anything is fair game to drip on me.

So back to an earlier post, when I mentioned Gracie's annual check up with her pediatrician. When he asked her what her favorite color was, she said black, because it goes with everything. Yes, I know this is not normal for a child her age, but I figured, no time like the present. She has been trained since an early age. Because, indeed, black does go with everything and it hides a multitude of sins, I mean spills. And she does come by spilling naturally---it's in her genes. I mean it's on her jeans. Whatever. You know what I mean.

©2010 Ann M. De broux

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