I was sitting in church on Sunday. I was listening to the sermon. Really. And this adorable baby girl caught my eye. She must have been about three or four months old. Her dad had just lifted her out of her car seat. Maybe it was the fact that she was being held. Or maybe that she had a new perspective on things. Whatever it was it made her the happiest baby. She had dark hair. Lots of it. And it stood straight up. And she smiled. The kind of smile that melts your heart. I like to think she was smiling at me. Who knows?
This made me think of Gracie as a baby in church. She would coo and smile to anyone around us. My mom would hold her. I'm pretty sure that my mom wore bracelets every Sunday to keep Gracie entertained. Mom and I were almost always in church with Gracie by ourselves. Dad was there, but up front preaching. Scott was at home. Sleeping. He worked nights. And I thought of the sweet day that Gracie said the word "conoonya". What? I couldn't figure this one out. I spoke Gracie fluently and this word stumped me. Until I realized that she was saying the word communion while we were sitting in church. She wanted to go up to communion to see her Papa. I love that memory.
This made me remember our life then. Scott would get home at 6:00 a.m. and play with Gracie for a little bit and head to bed. Gracie and I would go about our day. Scott would get up around three. We would eat early. As I was cleaning up the kitchen, he would give Gracie a bath and we would read to her and play games with her. To bed she would go between 6:00 and 6:30. We would have some time to ourselves before Scott would go to work and the cycle would repeat.
That was a lot of routine back then. It had to be that way. I long for those days. We've been out of routine for a while. We're getting back into one. It just takes time. And willing participants. The three of us seem to be on board. I'll let you know how it goes. And then my thoughts went to a grateful place. A place that feels very content with my family sitting in church together. My brain must have been on overdrive during the sermon. I visited all of these memories in the time it took to listen to a sermon. And believe it or not, I think I got the message being preached to me, too. Amazing. And this train ride all started with the beautiful smile of a baby girl.
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Lightening Up
With the new year here I've decided to lighten up. I know, I know. This phrase could be taken in so many ways. That's kind of where I'm going. In many different directions.
So, I want to lighten up. This year is going to be a good one. I know it. It's going to be less serious. Full of fun. Boring even. This is what I am hoping for. Yep. The ordinary and mundane is where I strive to be. I have had enough of being in the crisis mode. I am done with letting stress get the best of me. Of wearing me out and making me tired. Ha. Washing my hands of it.
On to another meaning of lightening up. It's time to do the yearly purge. I kind of lost track of this last year. Too busy with the above mentioned stress. But now that I'm done with that, I'm ready to clean the house out. All of the old rules apply. One thing in, one thing out. Or maybe two? If it hasn't been used in a year? See you later. The 24-hour rule. I will wait a day to see if I have an urge to buy something. I'm going to purge starting with the clothes. And room by room this house will undergo a deep cleansing. If you stop by you might not even notice this has been done. But rest assured it has. Just check out the calm look on my face. It will be the look of satisfaction and not being ruled by my stuff.
Then there is the third type of lightening up. My sister is getting married this summer and I need to show up ready to bridesmaid with a healthier body. No more excuses. Healthy food and exercise. I'll keep telling myself that. Over and over. I'll keep this simple. I will eat foods in their natural state. I will walk extra miles with the dogs. I will get the sleep I need. Sounds simple. I hope it is.
Lightening up is something I am looking forward to. I will be and have more fun. I will not allow consumerism to rule my life and retail therapy is over for me. And last but not least, this is the year of transformation for my overall health and well being. Here's to a lighter year. Any way you choose to take it.
So, I want to lighten up. This year is going to be a good one. I know it. It's going to be less serious. Full of fun. Boring even. This is what I am hoping for. Yep. The ordinary and mundane is where I strive to be. I have had enough of being in the crisis mode. I am done with letting stress get the best of me. Of wearing me out and making me tired. Ha. Washing my hands of it.
On to another meaning of lightening up. It's time to do the yearly purge. I kind of lost track of this last year. Too busy with the above mentioned stress. But now that I'm done with that, I'm ready to clean the house out. All of the old rules apply. One thing in, one thing out. Or maybe two? If it hasn't been used in a year? See you later. The 24-hour rule. I will wait a day to see if I have an urge to buy something. I'm going to purge starting with the clothes. And room by room this house will undergo a deep cleansing. If you stop by you might not even notice this has been done. But rest assured it has. Just check out the calm look on my face. It will be the look of satisfaction and not being ruled by my stuff.
Then there is the third type of lightening up. My sister is getting married this summer and I need to show up ready to bridesmaid with a healthier body. No more excuses. Healthy food and exercise. I'll keep telling myself that. Over and over. I'll keep this simple. I will eat foods in their natural state. I will walk extra miles with the dogs. I will get the sleep I need. Sounds simple. I hope it is.
Lightening up is something I am looking forward to. I will be and have more fun. I will not allow consumerism to rule my life and retail therapy is over for me. And last but not least, this is the year of transformation for my overall health and well being. Here's to a lighter year. Any way you choose to take it.
Sunday, December 16, 2012
Where Do We Go From Here?
'Tis the season to be merry and jolly. Look everywhere. The signs are there. The lights, decorations, gifts and songs. There is of course the real reason for this season. We all understand this. It is time to be full of faith and spend our days with family and friends.
So the news that we all received on Friday seems to be especially devastating. This news would be heartbreaking at any time of the year. But during the holidays it is especially poignant. Twenty children were shot down in cold blood. Babies. And six people trying to protect these babies. Shot down.
I cannot imagine being one of the parents waiting to find out the fate of their child. The absolute fear they must have felt. And then there is the joy and relief of those who were reunited with their family members. And there will possibly be some guilt that these people feel. They are neighbors of those who have great loss. Permanent loss.
So where do we go from here? Truly I believe that waking up, breathing, hugging our loved ones, eating, working and resting are where we go from here. We need to continue to live. In honor of those who can't. We need to love our neighbors now, later and all of the in-between. This week in their time of need and months from now when seemingly life has returned to normal. For those who have had a loved one killed, life will never again be normal.
Days, months or weeks from now we may find ourselves wanting to do more. We may want to take more action. Help find a solution to the enormous problem. We might lobby and sign petitions. We may talk about and educate ourselves on the topic of mental health issues. Hearts have been broken in this horrific time. But broken hearts are still able to beat and sustain life. This is a miracle. Let us be kind to each other, allow memories to be alive and let us carry on with grace.
So the news that we all received on Friday seems to be especially devastating. This news would be heartbreaking at any time of the year. But during the holidays it is especially poignant. Twenty children were shot down in cold blood. Babies. And six people trying to protect these babies. Shot down.
I cannot imagine being one of the parents waiting to find out the fate of their child. The absolute fear they must have felt. And then there is the joy and relief of those who were reunited with their family members. And there will possibly be some guilt that these people feel. They are neighbors of those who have great loss. Permanent loss.
So where do we go from here? Truly I believe that waking up, breathing, hugging our loved ones, eating, working and resting are where we go from here. We need to continue to live. In honor of those who can't. We need to love our neighbors now, later and all of the in-between. This week in their time of need and months from now when seemingly life has returned to normal. For those who have had a loved one killed, life will never again be normal.
Days, months or weeks from now we may find ourselves wanting to do more. We may want to take more action. Help find a solution to the enormous problem. We might lobby and sign petitions. We may talk about and educate ourselves on the topic of mental health issues. Hearts have been broken in this horrific time. But broken hearts are still able to beat and sustain life. This is a miracle. Let us be kind to each other, allow memories to be alive and let us carry on with grace.
Sunday, December 2, 2012
Seeing Red On Black Friday
Please, mom, please. Those of you who are moms know these words well. We hear them when our beautiful offspring want something from us. Usually when we don't want to give it.
So, a few weeks ago, Gracie was planning, researching and warming me up to the idea of Black Friday shopping. Of course friends were enlisted. The pressure was on. And after a day of family, laughter and lots of turkey, we went to the mall a bit before midnight. Crazy, right? Oh yeah.
Their first destination was PINK for the half price yoga pants. Our three girls and about 400-500 others. There was a group of young men chanting, "let us in." There were four security guards present. But look at the odds. An unruly crowd up against four guys? Come on. Kids were starting to push and shove. We texted our girls and told them to get out of line. Then came the fire marshall. He asked that the crowd line up in an orderly fashion. Not happening. These people were nuts. All for yoga pants. In came the police. I saw four, but heard that there were six police officers there at one time.
More pushing and shoving. This is crazy. Gracie wasn't answering my texts. Worry set in. And annoyance, too. My feet were being stepped on and I was being shoved into a kiosk. I said to a friend, maybe I should say that another store, way down the mall from here, is giving away free jeans and the crowd will lighten up some. Well, I was overheard by a few of the pushers and shovers. Where? Where are the free jeans, they asked. Well, it was one in the morning, I was a little tired and cranky, so I told them where this fabulous, ficticious deal was. A few took the bait and more room was made for us. I do feel a bit badly about spreading a false rumor. I hoped that they indeed did find a good deal or two. To make myself feel better, I reasoned that these were some rude and pushy young folk and for their safety and mine, we were all better off.
In the end we heard that the store PINK shut down for almost an hour. We left with a few deals and a promise that we made to ourselves. We will never see red on Black Friday again. I would much rather dream of sugarplums dancing in my head.
So, a few weeks ago, Gracie was planning, researching and warming me up to the idea of Black Friday shopping. Of course friends were enlisted. The pressure was on. And after a day of family, laughter and lots of turkey, we went to the mall a bit before midnight. Crazy, right? Oh yeah.
Their first destination was PINK for the half price yoga pants. Our three girls and about 400-500 others. There was a group of young men chanting, "let us in." There were four security guards present. But look at the odds. An unruly crowd up against four guys? Come on. Kids were starting to push and shove. We texted our girls and told them to get out of line. Then came the fire marshall. He asked that the crowd line up in an orderly fashion. Not happening. These people were nuts. All for yoga pants. In came the police. I saw four, but heard that there were six police officers there at one time.
More pushing and shoving. This is crazy. Gracie wasn't answering my texts. Worry set in. And annoyance, too. My feet were being stepped on and I was being shoved into a kiosk. I said to a friend, maybe I should say that another store, way down the mall from here, is giving away free jeans and the crowd will lighten up some. Well, I was overheard by a few of the pushers and shovers. Where? Where are the free jeans, they asked. Well, it was one in the morning, I was a little tired and cranky, so I told them where this fabulous, ficticious deal was. A few took the bait and more room was made for us. I do feel a bit badly about spreading a false rumor. I hoped that they indeed did find a good deal or two. To make myself feel better, I reasoned that these were some rude and pushy young folk and for their safety and mine, we were all better off.
In the end we heard that the store PINK shut down for almost an hour. We left with a few deals and a promise that we made to ourselves. We will never see red on Black Friday again. I would much rather dream of sugarplums dancing in my head.
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
I'm Thankful
This is the time of year that we are all reminded that there is much to be thankful for. This sentiment is not lost on me this year. For sure not this year. I am truly thankful for so much. Some of the things I am appreciative of are obvious and heartfelt. Other things that I am thankful for are flying low. Under the radar. Here's a little taste.
It almost goes without saying, but I am so grateful for my family and friends. This year has been a turbulent one. No pity party here, though. We made it. We have overcome. And we survived the tragedies mostly unscathed. I remember hearing that when a bone breaks it actually heals stronger. I think that is a perfect metaphor for my family and how we have healed and continue to heal.
I am thankful for blogging and texting. Yes, you read right. The written word is powerful. In all forms. This past year I have been able to stay in touch with all of you by writing. There were times that it would have been physically impossible to make enough phone calls, or to write enough notes. Emotionally it would have drained me. So I am so very thankful for technology.
I am thankful for a roof over my head and a comfy bed. Some days that is how I enjoyed my home. I wasn't in it much at times. But I did crash here. Literally. I needed a warm, safe place to refuel and relax. This is what my home did for me. Even if I only spent eight or so hours in it at a time.
I am thankful for coffee. It wakes me up in the same way each day. I can always count on it. I would also like to honorably mention Culver's. For feeding my family in a pinch. And Bath and Body Works for keeping my skin soft. I would like to thank my public library and Barnes and Noble for keeping my brain entertained.
And last, but not least, I am thankful for two furry creatures that are glad to see me each and every time I come through the door. They take me out for walks even when I don't feel like going. They make sure I stay warm as they cuddle up against me while we sleep. They make me laugh and are loyal beyond words.
Big or small, there are so many people, things and opportunities that I am thankful for. I am humbled and blessed. Happy Thanksgiving.
It almost goes without saying, but I am so grateful for my family and friends. This year has been a turbulent one. No pity party here, though. We made it. We have overcome. And we survived the tragedies mostly unscathed. I remember hearing that when a bone breaks it actually heals stronger. I think that is a perfect metaphor for my family and how we have healed and continue to heal.
I am thankful for blogging and texting. Yes, you read right. The written word is powerful. In all forms. This past year I have been able to stay in touch with all of you by writing. There were times that it would have been physically impossible to make enough phone calls, or to write enough notes. Emotionally it would have drained me. So I am so very thankful for technology.
I am thankful for a roof over my head and a comfy bed. Some days that is how I enjoyed my home. I wasn't in it much at times. But I did crash here. Literally. I needed a warm, safe place to refuel and relax. This is what my home did for me. Even if I only spent eight or so hours in it at a time.
I am thankful for coffee. It wakes me up in the same way each day. I can always count on it. I would also like to honorably mention Culver's. For feeding my family in a pinch. And Bath and Body Works for keeping my skin soft. I would like to thank my public library and Barnes and Noble for keeping my brain entertained.
And last, but not least, I am thankful for two furry creatures that are glad to see me each and every time I come through the door. They take me out for walks even when I don't feel like going. They make sure I stay warm as they cuddle up against me while we sleep. They make me laugh and are loyal beyond words.
Big or small, there are so many people, things and opportunities that I am thankful for. I am humbled and blessed. Happy Thanksgiving.
Monday, November 12, 2012
The Gift That Keeps On Giving
So Christmas is 43 days away. I know this because somehow Halloween happened and Thanksgiving is around the corner. And because I was at the mall this weekend and the decorations are everywhere. As well as the invitations to buy gifts for everyone I love. Sales were happening everywhere. But come on. It was 60 degrees out and the sun was shining. I was having a hard time wrapping my head around the fact that Christmas is really that close.
My list of people to buy for is small. And I won't be giving away what I am buying and possibly making for them. But here is the gift that I often purchase. It fits all different sizes. It can make you laugh. It can make you cry. You may be educated by it. You may enjoy it on your own or with others. You don't have to have electricity to run it. And this gift can be passed on and shared with others.
Books. I do love a book store. I spent some time in one this weekend. I found myself wandering from section to section getting more and more intrigued every minute. To read is actually a form of meditation for me. I read best when it's quiet. When I am in a comfy chair. Maybe covered in a soft blanket. Perhaps sipping a warm coffee, tea or cider. It's time to leave the hustle and bustle of life and lose yourself in the pages of times gone by. Or of the future. Or of a topic that you are just learning about. I love fact and fiction. I certainly love to learn about people and what makes them tick.
As I was purchasing my books, I thought of how I could hardly wait to get home and start reading. The clerk asked if I would think about donating books to children in the area. I didn't hesitate. What a small price to pay to continue this age old form of entertainment and enrichment. And it got me to thinking that I may do more gift buying this season and yes, it may involve books.
Books are gifts that keep on giving. You can read books and learn. You may be entertained. And the best part is you can share the gift. Over and over. Books are easy to wrap. They are easy to send. They come in all topics and sizes. Good luck with your shopping and gift giving. Mine is sure to be a page turner.
My list of people to buy for is small. And I won't be giving away what I am buying and possibly making for them. But here is the gift that I often purchase. It fits all different sizes. It can make you laugh. It can make you cry. You may be educated by it. You may enjoy it on your own or with others. You don't have to have electricity to run it. And this gift can be passed on and shared with others.
Books. I do love a book store. I spent some time in one this weekend. I found myself wandering from section to section getting more and more intrigued every minute. To read is actually a form of meditation for me. I read best when it's quiet. When I am in a comfy chair. Maybe covered in a soft blanket. Perhaps sipping a warm coffee, tea or cider. It's time to leave the hustle and bustle of life and lose yourself in the pages of times gone by. Or of the future. Or of a topic that you are just learning about. I love fact and fiction. I certainly love to learn about people and what makes them tick.
As I was purchasing my books, I thought of how I could hardly wait to get home and start reading. The clerk asked if I would think about donating books to children in the area. I didn't hesitate. What a small price to pay to continue this age old form of entertainment and enrichment. And it got me to thinking that I may do more gift buying this season and yes, it may involve books.
Books are gifts that keep on giving. You can read books and learn. You may be entertained. And the best part is you can share the gift. Over and over. Books are easy to wrap. They are easy to send. They come in all topics and sizes. Good luck with your shopping and gift giving. Mine is sure to be a page turner.
Tuesday, November 6, 2012
Fielding Phone Calls
I have no time to write this week. My apologies. I'm very busy answering political phone calls. Looking forward to next week. See you then.
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