Four Months

It's was officially four months yesterday. Yep, four months as residents of Wisconsin's state capital. It has been an adventurous ride. The fact that we sold our house in Appleton in six days and moved here without incident is nothing short of a miracle and we know it. We really do feel blessed. We have had lots of terrific company visit us. Family and friends and friends who are family. We have explored many exciting places in Madison and will continue to. The farmer's market is truly an awakening of my food senses. And on that note---I've started cooking a lot more. Partly because I'm 44 and want to eat better so that I can be healthier. I must say something must be working, at least a little, because I had to buy a belt yesterday. But the main reason for cooking more is to have a great time with my family each night. We sit down, we eat and we share our day's happenings with each other. That kind of nourishment does not come in a can.

Some other happenings in the past four months are that we found a great church. We felt at home there from the start. The new friends we are making are terrific. We are burrowing into our new surroundings. We have routines again. Certain things on certain days. You know how it rolls. I'm learning short cuts around town and what time to avoid the belt line. That traffic is not for the faint of heart. I'm glad it's an option for us. But for some it's an every day thing. Twice a day.

We all had our first birthdays here away from the familiar. For some it was just another day and for others it was both happy and sad. We did well though. And that brings me to a wonderful birthday. Chester had his 17th birthday on August 1. What a great guy. Such a faithful, funny dog. His hips were certainly causing him some trouble, but he was doing very well on all other accounts. Chester made this transition to Madison with us. And he made it easier. Especially for Gracie. Chester was HER dog. They cuddled every morning. She loved to touch the edges of his ears. And he would let her do it. So soft, she would say. We had steps in this house and that was a challenge for Chester. But we made do. He was so laid back and just took every day as it came.

Last week things changed. On Thursday Chester collapsed in our living room. We took him to an animal hospital. They said he had low blood pressure and needed fluids. They would like to keep him overnight. We all came through the back door of our house missing our boy. We got a call from the vet and she said he was perking up and she'd call in the morning. In the morning the same news and that I could pick him up. I was so glad. But something changed in the meantime. They did an ultrasound and found a bleeding mass in his belly. He was 17 years and 2 months old at this time. The chances of him surviving any procedures were slim and even then recovery may not happen. We gathered the family and all were with him in the end. We all held him and talked to him and petted him. Such sadness. We miss him terribly.

On the other hand I want to say such gladness. Chester was with us through all of our huge changes this year. When Winston died Chester started sleeping on Winston's bed and never went back to his own. I think it was his way of staying connected to Winston. And it made missing him more bearable. Chester was always happy to be with us. Whether it was in Appleton, at the cottage, at Howard Johnson's, where Scott lived until we moved down to Madison, or in our new house. If he was with his people, he was happy. I believe that Chester hung on to see us through some of these times of change. I think he held on for Gracie and needed to see her happy and playing with friends. And that's exactly what she was doing on Thursday.

In four months a lot has changed. Mostly for the better. We miss Chester and we thank him for loving us.

©2010 Ann M. De Broux

Mishmash

I love the word mishmash. Almost as much as I love the word rigamarole. The word mishmash exudes it's definition. You feel it when you say it. It means hodgepodge, a bunch of stuff that doesn't fit together. The word speaks volumes. I usually have some sort of mental outline formed in my head before I start writing. Not today. There is so much that I am thinking about. So here goes. Buckle up. Here come random thoughts flying at you!

Thought No. 1:
I'm loving the cooler temps. Fall is my favorite season. We sort of live on the edge of the city. I drive in the country almost every day. The trees are just barely starting to show a little change of color. I'm so excited. And yet don't want the change to happen too fast. It's apple cider, pumpkin on the porch weather and I'm loving it.

Thought No. 2:
I really don't want a Reverend in Florida speaking on my behalf. I saw him on the news today speaking on "behalf of all Americans." He didn't ask me. I must have missed his call. I think what he is doing is sad. He is getting a lot of attention for planning something that is in my opinion ridiculous and hurtful. People who rant and rave half-cocked without accurate information are a frightening bunch. It is true that we live in a land of free speech. I am thankful for this each day. But to take this privilege and misuse it is irresponsible. And to do this with the knowledge that it will provoke violence is doubly harmful.

Thought No. 3:
Had the house assessed today. Cleaned yesterday. Not for the assessor, but because it needed it. Then I stopped at the messy office. It's bad. Scott had to do all sorts of reinstalling of programs after his computer crashed and there is stuff everywhere. Maybe I'll leave it and it will bring the value of the house down. Lower taxes maybe? Nah. I did the five minute shuffle and straightened it up a bit. So, Mr. Assessor came today and I told him my plan to leave it a disaster and the hope that it would bring down the value. He smiled. I think he liked my joke.

Thought No. 4:
My girl will be eleven in 18 days. She can't wait. I can. She's on the edge of bursting into a whole new part of her life. These years have gone by so fast. So much change. She wants to be so grown up and in the next minute she is sitting on my lap when she's tired. I love those moments. I've decided to just breathe. Scott and I have given her a loving home, we have great family and friends that have helped us raise her. We have made mistakes. She has even called us on a few. She's so smart and still so little. I will enjoy all of the moments. Yes, even the ones where two strong wills clash. I'm loving watching her grow into a lovely young woman. With just a dash of stubbornness. No, I don't know where she got that. Smile.

Thought No. 5:
I used to look up a new word every day in the dictionary. I loved doing this. I'm a avid reader and love to write, so this was natural for me. And as luck would have it, or as the saying goes, once you learn a new word you hear it or read it again at least once in the next 24 hours.

I'm off to crack open the dictionary. I want to learn something new today. Happy Weekend!
©2010 Ann M. De Broux

Winston

We were both working full time jobs. We were dealing with Scott's mom's cancer and I had just had my second miscarriage. I thought that a new puppy might fill a void I was feeling. Call me crazy. We went to the breeder. We saw the perfect puppy. He was messy and seemed shy. On the way home he threw up in the car. Carsickness plagued him for a few years after that.

He was so sweet, so fuzzy. We loved him and Chester mothered him. He was a bit delayed in the training chapter of his life. He would come bounding out of an empty room with a little tell-tale trot. We knew what surprise was left for us behind door number one. So we walked and we walked. And we walked some more. Finally, one day the message seemed to make a connect for him. He had the funniest habit of leaning up against a tree when he did his duty. I figured it out. This wasn't for support, it was for privacy. Even a small tree would provide him with what he deemed enough shelter to hide behind and do his job.

When he was four he had a terrible health scare. A wonderful vet had the time and patience, and yes, our money to figure it out. A few months after this we anxiously awaited the arrival of Gracie. Winston was curled up on my lap one day. What was left of it. He snuggled up close to my big belly and all of the sudden Gracie let out a huge kick. I felt it. He felt it. Winston jumped off of my lap with a look on his face that said, "did you feel that and what the heck was it?" As new parents we wanted to facilitate the best way to have Chester and Winston meet Gracie. Scott brought home the little hat she wore for them to smell and process. The day we brought her home, Chester checked her out and moved on. Winston on the other hand made this statement, "this baby is mine!"

He would let us know if she was awake in her crib before she would cry. He would curl up around her on the floor. He was so loving towards her. Then Gracie turned one and became mobile. That was enough for him and this is where Chester took over and has ever since. Winston tolerated her, but not as deeply as he had in her first year.

Last year things began to change. Mood swings, not eating and more trips outside. Our poor boy. We knew something was very wrong. Our vet said we could do lots of tests, but the answer would probably be the same no matter how much money we spent. We made him comfortable. Those sweet eyes became very sad eyes. We had to take stock of the situation. For all of the times that Winston made us feel loved and wagged that tail in happiness to greet us. For all of his loyalty. For all of his shyness and quirky little habits. It was time for us to give him the gift that he needed most from us. We made the appointment. We touched him and held him as he died. We thanked him over and over for all that he had been for us. I have never cried so hard in my life. I'm crying right now.

Winston died just a couple of weeks before his 15th birthday. Chester misses him and so do we. We appreciate the simple gifts he gave us. The feeling of being happy to see someone and the ability to love unconditionally. It's been a year since he died. We're glad he's no longer suffering. He was the best shy, happy to see you, loyal, baby loving dog a family could have asked for.

©2010 Ann M. De Broux

Simple Priorities

When Scott and I were first married times were lean. And no, I don't mean we were skinnier. Even though we were. I mean lean as in money was tight. We owned a construction company. We had employees and we paid their health insurance. So each week we paid the bills. Lumber companies, subcontractors, our workers. Monthly we paid the mortgage, insurance and basic utilities. Many times there wasn't much if anything left over. Suddenly paper towels and Kleenex were not so important. You can always blow your nose in toilet tissue and tear up some old tshirts for rags. I became the master at food creations with cream of mushroom and cream of chicken soups. Don't even get me started on what I can do with Ramen Noodles.

We tried to not turn the heat on until the end of October. And when it was turned on we tried to keep the temperature as low as possible. An extra sweater, an afghan, cuddle time---it was all good. We never turned down our parent's invitations to come over for dinner. And somehow our moms always sent us home with wonderful leftovers. We made homemade candles in jam jars and tied a little bit of twine around them for gifts at Christmastime. We held a few back for ourselves and were able to keep the lights on in the house to a minimum. We still managed to entertain. My godfather had sent us two cases of wine for our wedding. One red and one white. We kept a change jar in the kitchen and would cash it in when it was full. I took the money and bought blocks of cheese, paper plates, napkins and cups. We had a bunch of sausage in the freezer. Ta da! We had a wine and cheese party for thirty people. And we still had wine to spare.

Eating out wasn't an option. At least not often. We bought 75 cent shampoo and reused coffee grounds. We would make a full pot of coffee in the morning. Later we would add a couple of scoops to the used ones and get a pot of coffee that would taste just as good. Cable t.v.? No way. Movie rentals on the two for a dollar night. I rigged up a clothes line in the basement and Scott hooked one up for me outside for nice weather days. We took our cans in for cash. Rummage sales. You bet. Had them and shopped them.

Times were lean. They were also good. We had a clear set of priorities. We didn't waste. We rarely wanted. We had shelter, food and other basic necessities. More importantly we had each other. We had our family. We had our health. Time has passed. We have more money. And yes, we have more things. Not too many, though. But we still have our priorities. We still have our family. Sometimes it's good to remind ourselves of the lean times. It's a great way to remember that life was good then and that it is still good. And remembering some of the cost cutting tips, that's helpful, too.

©2010 Ann M. De Broux

Simply Avoiding the Inevitable...

It's a gorgeous day. I have had the windows open for two days straight. The air smells great. I need to wash out my tubs and the bathroom floors. I think I'll talk and giggle with my daughter for a while first. Then we play with my new iPad. Download a few apps. I decide that's enough and onto hanging some pictures in the new house. Better mow the lawn. Gracie helps. I handle the trimmer. Okay, that was done way too fast. I guess it's lunch time. Heat up some sloppy joes. We eat. Again, done way too fast. I vacuum the first floor. My dog barks at the vacuum. He's kind of lazy today, so all I really get from him is a "mmrrff," instead of a strong "ruff." I say, hey there fella, bark like you mean it! He lays his weary head down and I swear he said, "you bark like you mean it. And by the way aren't you supposed to be cleaning the bathrooms?"

Yuck. I hate cleaning the bathrooms. Especially since I just did it three days ago. You see, after I was done my husband made a valiant effort to kill these little bugs that we have had for a few weeks. He thinks they are called springtails. I think they are disgusting. Please do whatever it takes to eradicate! He made a trip to the hardware store in an absolute downpour and picked up the magical poison to springtails. What he didn't tell me is that the chemical needed to stay on the floors and not be cleaned up for a few days. Ugh! I just washed the floors. Now they are sticky with springtail killer! As I step out of the shower I feel the sticky stuff. Yuck again.

Well, the date has arrived that is acceptable to clean up. But here's the thing, I don't want to anymore. I feel that I have cleaned my bathrooms already. And I am doing everything in my power to avoid this cleaning again. I actually picked up my daughter's guitar and started strumming a little song for her and making up words to the tune as I went. No, I do not play the guitar. I am actually one of these gifted people that can just pick up an instrument and play it. Okay, I'm joking. And now I'm done playing the guitar because Gracie is trying to videotape me playing and I'm afraid it may end up on YouTube. That would be a nightmare.

Time to grow up, Ann. Just go clean the bathrooms. I tell myself, after it's over it never seems as bad as you thought it would be. We'll see...yuck.
©2010 Ann M. De Broux

A Cinderella Story...Of Sorts

My girl is a planner. The Children's Parade was two days ago. Gracie and her friends decided on the Cinderella theme. Days of preparation. Costumes were assembled. Lots of phone calls. Decisions as to who would be Cinderella, the stepsisters. Then the "float" building. Her Radio Flyer wagon was to be the mode of transportation. Scott, Gracie and her friend Abby began the arduous task. A trip to Home Depot. Chicken wire, zip ties and a couple of hula hoops and they were off. Within a couple of hours the shape of the pumpkin had been created. Did I forget to tell you that the parade was in Appleton? And the pumpkin was born in Madison?

The precious produce/float was loaded into the back of the truck and secured. This is where the story gets interesting. As I'm driving through the streets of Madison I am getting the most rewarding looks. You know. The what the heck is that looks. Lots of smiles. I in turn smile back thinking if you only knew what this was. As I get on the highway and reach the 65 mile an hour speed limit, my phone rings. It is the co-creator of this masterpiece---Scott. As we are talking, and yes I know I shouldn't talk on the phone while driving, I look in the rear view mirror. Oh no. Scott, I have to go, the float is flying off the back of the truck. It is literally hanging by a bungee cord. It's riding the rail of the right side of the truck.

This is where it gets a little movie like. And by that I mean dramatic. I look at the girls in the back seat. They are oblivious to what is happening. Ipods are rockin'. I know this float is going to fly off the truck. I check my left side view mirror. No one in the lane next to me. I do this Starsky and Hutch maneuver and jerk the truck to the left. The wagon falls back into the bed of the truck and I take the next exit. We stop and I send the girls into McDonald's for refreshments. Scott and I talk and try to come up with better ideas for tethering. I think I've got it and off we go.

Seven miles later, not so much. That baby is shaking. I don't want to have this thing fly off and hurt someone---or worse. Exit again. This time in the middle of nowhere. I pull off on a country road. I'm readjusting and getting frustrated. After a few minutes my Prince Charming pulls up in his silver truck. I have a silver truck. I'm partial. Now, I'm a one Prince Charming kind of gal, but every once in a while you just need to have another one come into your life---for a few minutes. He says, trouble? I say, not with my truck but with my cargo. He looks at the float and is too polite to ask. So I explain. It's a float for a kids parade and that two girls will be pretty sad if it doesn't arrive safely. To work we go. We lay the thing on its side. We work with bungees and ratchet straps. It finally feels secure. He tells me that he kayaks. Nothing works better to tie down than good old fashioned rope. I'm getting some. I may even carry some in my purse from now on.

He says he wishes that he could do more. He wishes he could drive this float to Appleton for us. I reply, so do I. More importantly he says, and the girls are listening, because he would have loved to see the finished float and see the parade. They smile ear to ear. So do I. I shake his hand and thank him profusely. Off he drives into the sunset. Well, not quite. It was 11:00 a.m. And as I drove off, I thought, I should have gotten his name. I could have sent him a thank you card. I think he knows how thankful we were. The kindness of strangers. Paying it forward. I'm touched.

The rest of the trip was uneventful. We made it. A little bent out of shape. The pumpkin---not me. A little scratched up---yes, me. Rough edges on chicken wire. Nasty. The final decorating went well. Orange plastic table cloths were used to cover the shape. A stem was made out of an empty paper towel roll and some green tissue evolved into leaves. The float and the girls were a hit at the parade. A day to remember. So many Cinderellas, so little time.
©2010 Ann M. De Broux

He Loves Me

I'm a tough gal. I'm not big. I'm 5'4". I don't know what I can bench press. But I know that I am strong. I can move furniture and do heavy tasks. I'm a worker. I'm independent. And I am lucky to have a man in my life that is the yin to my yang. He, too, is strong. Almost six feet. Broad shoulders. The kind that you can count on. Especially when a girl has a need to lean on them.

He came into my life almost 19 years ago. I knew right away that I loved him. He was from a family like mine. We liked the same things. He loved me even though I couldn't cook. He laughed at my jokes and got my quirky humor. He appreciated my soft feelings for kids and older folks. He waits patiently. Not because it takes me a long time to get ready, but because it takes me a long time to leave places and people. I'm an extrovert and love to visit with people. He on the other hand is an introvert and likes to visit, but has his limits. He loved his mom more than words can say. She died in 1994. He loves my mom. And my dad and sister. He isn't afraid to show it.

When we found out that we would be having Gracie he took care of us. He came home every day, three times, on every shift and checked my blood pressure. This allowed me to stay home and await her birth and not to have to stay at the hospital. He took a picture of Gracie when she was less than a week old in her bassinet without me knowing and had it blown up. It's in our living room now. It can still bring a tear to my eye. It's my favorite. He calms me down when I get fired up. I've been known to be stubborn. I am also a terrible back seat driver---with him. He has this endearing, and at the same time annoying, quality of looking at me while he's talking and driving. Freaks me out.

He respects my opinion. He keeps me safe. He loves our daughter with a passion. He loves our pets. He's kind to strangers. He goes the extra mile. He embraces challenges. He keeps me grounded. I knew I loved him right away. And lucky for me he loved me, too.