Today I was needed. Just a little. By my daughter. I loved it. She is at the age of massive independence. I love that, too. And yes, she needed me to get her moving this morning. It had been a fun and long weekend. Plus it was foggy outside. Who wants to get up under those circumstances? Not me. But I did. So did the rest of the family. This was Gracie's first day at College for Kids. I drove her with a friend to the meeting place for the beginning of this extraordinary three week school. I was excited. She was excited. Her friend was equally happy.
We left early and got there on time. With a few minutes to spare. Thankfully, because when we parked I led them in the wrong direction for a block and we had to turn around. Oops. Far from perfect am I. We arrived and found the assigned lines/meeting areas for each group. The girls had to part ways and wished each other well. I had one of those moments of not real panic, but just an uncomfortable feeling. I looked around and saw not one familiar face. All new to me. They were nice faces, but new ones just the same. I thought silently, my baby is off to be with complete strangers. I know, they are all decent, screened and fine individuals, but...
I had this overwhelming thought that projected me into the future and also helped me revisit the past. This is my job. To guide Gracie to new things. To expose her to the world. To give her opportunity. Like her first day of preschool. Like the first day of kindergarten. Like the first day of school last year in a new town. I will get her there. That is my job. What she does after that is her job and hopefully her joy. It is my joy to see her grow up. Very soon she will be off to real college. Not just a three week class in the summer. I know, this is a few years into the future, but it will happen so fast.
So, it was time to leave. I had calmed my internal freak out down and turned to Gracie to say have a great time. I said I will pick you up right on time. She said ok. I turned to leave and felt a light touch on my arm. Mom, will you stay a little longer? Of course I will. All she needed was a few more minutes. A few more kids arrived and she got her tshirt and folder. And I stepped back just a little. She turned and gave me the signal. The I'm ok smile and a little wave. My job was done. I walked back to the car with a huge smile on my face. My girl will have a terrific time. I know it. And I was needed. She still needs me. My day has been made. Make some one's day today and need them.
©2011 Ann M. De Broux